By now I’d like to believe that I know who I am or at least have an idea of who I hope to be. I’m sure the older I become I’ll discover new hobbies, meet new people and continue growing and maturing. But at this very moment I’m content with every aspect of my life except for the changing part. Lately I find it hard to bend or even compromise for that matter for fear that I’ll lose myself in someone else again. It’s the little things that I’m asked to change that I’ve lived with for several years. It’s the finding balance on a beam that constantly seems to keep moving. Lately, its the finding balance in my relationship that I’m having a hard time with. However there’s something’s that I’ve been doing that I thought may be helpful for you.
1.) Don’t believe the “you” complete me myth.
If you believe that you are not whole without another person, then sadly you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of failure. The truth is you’re the only one who can complete yourself. Relationships have a better chance of surviving when two whole people are in them, not when two half people enter into a relationship seeking to become whole.
2.) Don’t be a “yes” partner.
It’s not appealing to be in a relationship with a person who says yes to everything you ask of them. In fact it’s out right annoying and pathetic, be who you were before them…. a person with a backbone. Make your partner remember who they fell in love with because if you don’t you’ll soon be forgotten just as you have forgotten yourself.
3.) Have your own life.
Nothing to me is more unappealing than a girl or guy who hangs onto their partner for dear life. They spend every waking moment with them, and when they aren’t around they don’t know what to do with themselves. Do yourself a favor and remember how your life was before you fell in love. What did you do to fill the space that your partner now occupies? If you want to continue to make your relationship solid you have to date yourself first before you date anyone else.
4.) Don’t obsess about perfection.
Nobody’s perfect, so don’t expect your relationship to be perfect. I know for me, this is something that I forget way to much. When things are going good I just can’t see them going bad. But when they’re bad, I wonder way to much what went wrong. Just sit back and remember that all couples fight, no relationship will be good 100% of the time and your outcome determines if the problem gets fixed or not. If you truly love and value your partner just remember that they are more important than the argument that you two are having.
I’ve noticed that I hold onto my past a lot and don’t embrace the future enough. It’s like I’m always running forward with my face backwards, I move at a steady pace but the more I look back the more I find myself slowing down. In particular I hold onto my memories quite to well, as if I’m holding on to dear life. I’ve tried to release myself of any ties to anything that ever hurt me, told me I wasn’t good enough or held me down when I so desperately wanted to run free.
Every second of every minute of everyday I’m holding onto something. I’ve gotten better about letting it out though, but I still find that sometimes I’m always waiting for something or someone. Maybe I’m waiting for someone to believe in me, never give up on me, genuinely listen to me when I speak and try their hardest not to let me down. I see my something, I feel it but I still haven’t learned to run with my face forward.
When nothing seems to be going right, I instantly go back to a time in my life when everything made sense. I push and pull and push again trying to make sense of it all. When things fall apart I try to make sense of that too instead of just letting it be. I try to forget things and replace the old memories with new ones. But I often find that what’s meant to be remembered can never be forgotten.
I’ll admit that there are things in my past that I’d like to forget. Some of them consist of times when I was completely falling apart; other times I was, we’ll…. completely falling. But the older I become the more I realize that memories are a good thing. They’ve helped me to learn from mistakes that I’ve made, keep a record of all that was once good in my life , and remind me of when I fell apart, and back together again. You see life is not all bad stuff, there’s some good stuff too, I just have to dig a little deeper to find it.
My best friend, my soulmate and the only thing that makes sense when nothing else does. I love him more than I’ve ever loved another.
(via imforeverfaithful)
My birthday is in exactly 14 days.
Flowers from my man; he never ceases to amaze me. I’m a very lucky girl.
Love this <3
